Hard Work and Knowledge gives way to Attitude, Bullshit and Ass Kissing

I don’t know where this next little ditty came from, I was looking through my notes on my iPhone, that were copied from my Palm Trio, that was copied from my Palm Pilot. According to the date it was 1,490 days ago that I copied this from Who-Knows-Where? If anyone knows the original author let me know and I’ll give them credit.

The closest I have come to hearing this in the wild is one of the sayings, my Papa has used: Old Age and Treachery will beat Youth and Exuberance.

HERE WE GO:

Hard Work and Attitude, Giving More Than 100%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this…

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to
those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?

So what makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then…

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But…

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And..

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND look how far ass-kissing will take you…

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass
Kissing will put over the top.

Lets try:

Old Age and Treachery = 15+12+4+1+14+4+20+18+5+1+3+8+5+18+25 = 153

Youth and Exuberance = 25+5+21+20+8+1+14+4+5+24+21+2+5+18+1+14+3+5 = 206

This goes to prove that if you don’t have Youth and Exuberance working for you then Old Age and Treachery will win over all others.

Always have Fun

G

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All About Tools and The People Who Use Them

This was sent to me by a friend, I don’t know who created it, but if you use tools and have bloodied you fingers, strap in. I almost fell off my chair when I read it.

You Have Been Warned.

Tools Explained

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, ‘Oh sh–!’

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle… It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire.. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans.. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ‘Son of a BITCH!’ at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. Hope you found this informative.


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Uncle Dave

I first post this on the Rachar Family Facebook page shortly after Uncle Dave passed away. I find it hard to believe he is gone and it’s been four months now.

One of my fondest memories of Uncle Dave was one winter, I was young, don’t remember how young, the Rachar Boys, Dave and Dad (Lloyd) bought snowmobiles. Dad bought a Polaris, Dave bought an Arctic Cat, it was jet black and looked fast just standing still. All the kids were out riding having a blast. I decided to show off my skills as a Skidoo driver by taking Uncle Dave’s Cat up the road and comeback fast, fishtailing and do a 360 in front of the others. I planned it out, practiced the daring move hundreds of times, in my mind. I got up the road ok, did I tell you it was fast? I got back ok, it was fast. It fishtailed beautifully, lots of power and fast. The 360, that was different. Apparently I did not have a good grasp of Newton’s three laws of motion. As I started to slide the sled sideways the ground decided to test the first law and jumped up and grabbed the track. First law worked. Laws two and three kicked in and sent the sled on a rolling trajectory into the trees at the edge of the road. I can only assume that it was a spectacular show, as I was part of it I didn’t see it. I remember there being a broken windshield, but what I remember most was Uncle Dave. I remember him asking if I was all right and being very gracious about me destroying his beautiful machine. As if it was yesterday I remember him saying, As long as you are all right, nobody got hurt, we can fix the snowmobile. I remember him grinning about the whole thing. When Uncle Dave smiled I always felt everything was going to be ok. I have a place in my heart for him, it is now aching.

 

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Duke & Duchess of Cambridge

I first post this on the Rachar Family Facebook page while watching the big wedding, yes I admit it.

Sitting here watching the wedding of William and Kate, listening to the announcement that they are now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge it dawned on me they are now our Duke and Duchess. There has not been a Duke of Cambridge since Prince George, 2nd died in 1904. Here is our history:

John Racher, an agricultural labourer, and his wife Edith (Titmus) Racher emigrated from Bassingbourne, Cambridgeshire, England as part of the Petworth Emigration to Upper Canada. They sailed from Portsmouth, England on April 10th, 1832 aboard the ship England. John and Edith were accompanied by their two young sons –

• Charles Racher (b. circa 1827); and,
• Stephen Racher (b. 11 Jan 1830)

Charles Rachar is the father of David Rachar, my Great Grandfather from whom or Rachar family tree book was made.

If you search for Cambridgeshire in Google Maps, the pin will fall on Cambridge. I Love big families.

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Mac Xserve & Commodore Amiga

I first post this on my company blog, decided to post it here also.

Apple just announced the end to the XServe but not OS X Server. This I believe will prove to be a mistake.

I think Apple is jettisoning everything that is not consumer electronics, I believe this will be a major mistake and will be the beginning of the decline in the Apple Halo. Their dominance in the consumer market will not last, Microsoft usually takes three kicks at the can to get on the right track and the Windows Phone 7 is that. Once they get it right they have a tendency to dominate. Everything I have read on it indicates it is a superior platform that needs a few updates, somewhat like the original iphone when it was first released.

The android platform will eventually get their act together because Google will make it happen, I predict, by introducing a unified App Store, the only detracting factor for Android.

Nokia has finally woke up and has symbian smart phones out. It will only get better.

HP will release a Palm OS phone and Tablet. Palm was like the Commodore Amiga Computer, the best computer and OS, ahead of it’s time but a company that was focused on the wrong thing and faded away.

Commodore and Amiga are back in business again as of August 31, 2010. Amiga was the first true usable desktop Unix system, multitasking, protected memory. Apparently Amiga has been building high end graphics and multimedia for mobile devices, it would be a excellent phone/tablet OS. Apple wasn’t in the same class as Amiga in the beginning, and in many aspects still isn’t. No computer is running protected memory space, if a program crashes, you click out of that window and launch the app again. You could launch as many instances of an app that you wanted, you were governed only by the amount of ram you had. Can’t do that with Mac OS or any version of Windows.

There is a company out there that is right now working on the device that will unify the smart phone and the tablet, so you don’t need two devices. It could be a folding device that closed is phone around 3.5″ x 5″ and it folds out to be a 5″ x 7″ tablet, when closed is 1/2″ thick. If a device such as this had a good OS and the folding screen worked (there will be a time where this will be normal) and while your at it the screen could be an e ink as well as a back lit screen. This device, if it wasn’t an Apple would surly be an Apple killer.The mobile consumer market is just starting, the early leader in most tech markets don’t keep it and a lot die.

It looks like Apple is deciding to dump the back office support for the small business and enterprise markets, I think the history books will show this as a mistake.

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